It was late and all I wanted to do was read a book until I fell asleep. I went to my room and undressed for bed. I climbed between the sheets and reached for the book on the nightstand.
“Damn,” I muttered.
The only thing on my nightstand was the alarm clock.
I checked the table at the other side of the bed.
Maybe Genesis put it away, I thought.
I padded out to the living room and checked the bookshelf. I ran my finger along the spines, looking for the one I had been reading.
“Lover in the Shadows”, “Another Day in Paradise”, “For the Love of Nick”, “Moment of Truth”, “My Lord Jack”, “Lone Arrow’s Pride,” “The Very Virile Viking”, “Sex Lies and Leprechauns”, “Savage Beloved”, “Hotly Bedded”…
I checked the books on the other shelves.
“Fuck,” I growled.
All of my books were gone. No more Heinlein, no more Arthur C. Clarke or H.G. Wells. Ursula K. Leguin, Bradbury, and Asimov,… they were all gone and replaced with..
“Fucking romance novels!” I roared.
For a moment I feared over the fate of my beloved books, some of them first editions, then it occurred to me who might be responsible.
I stormed back the hall to Lazlo’s room. He was lounging on his bed, my book in his hands, reading aloud.
“The restraint he had shown thus far vanished swiftly, giving way to a passion that was now savage, violent, and ruthlessly selfish. Amber, inexperienced but not innocent, returned his kisses eagerly. Spurred by the caressing of his mouth and hands, her desire mounted apace with his, and though at first she had heard, somewhere far back in her mind, Sarah calling out to her, warning her, the sound and the image grew fainter, dissolved and was gone.”
Lazlo looked up at me, and gave me one of his reputedly charming smiles.
“I don’t know Big Brother, if you are looking for relationship advice you may do better with internet porn.”
“Give me that,” I grumbled as I snatched the worn paperback copy of “Forever Amber” from his hands. “And put my books back!” I shouted.
I stormed back to my room, crawled once again between the sheets and opened my book to page 645, Chapter fifty-five.
“Asshole”, I muttered as I settled in to pick up where I left off the previous night.
Note: It may well be that I regret posting this in the morning as I am completely and totally inebriated. I thought of this yesterday and just had to do it 'cause I was in a 'Jolly' mood.
Damn the adverbs! Oh, the humanity!
- Current Mood: drunk
- Current Music:Night of the Hunter - 30STM